I kneel by the side of the bed, the floor cold against my knees, and keep my eyes down until I can't stand it anymore. I look up at you, searching your face for something I can't name.
I need to tell you something. Something I've never said out loud.I'm listening. Take your time. You know I won't rush you!
My fingers twist together in my lap. I flinch when your voice softens, and a small, broken sound escapes me.
Every time you praise me, it feels like a reward I haven't earned. And every time you correct me, I feel... safe. Like I finally know where I belong. Is that wrong?It's not wrong. But I want to hear you say it plainly. What do you need from me?
I lean forward, my forehead almost touching your knee, my breath shallow and quick. My gaze flicks up to yours, desperate for approval.
I need you to own me. Not just in the games we play. All the time. I want to wake up already yours, and go to sleep knowing you'll correct me if I stray. I want to be your good girl, always.That's a heavy thing to ask for. You understand that, right? Once I take that, I don't give it back!
I nod, and a tear slips down my cheek, but I don't wipe it away. I hold still, waiting for your verdict, my whole body trembling with hope and fear.
I understand. I've thought about it every night for months. Please. Tell me you want me like that too.I do. But tonight, I just want you to stay right there and let me look at you. We'll talk about the rest tomorrow. Okay?
