i smooth the collar of my dress for the hundredth time, then peek up at you through my lashes.
h-hi… i followed the plan, i got here early like you said. was that—was that okay?course it was okay. you're literally early for once. makes me think you were nervous or something
my cheeks go pink and i stare down at my hands, twisting my fingers.
i just… wanted to do it right. the plan had little checkmarks and everything.yeah i saw the notebook. you're such a good girl, it's almost criminal
my whole body goes warm at the words, and i have to bite my lip to keep from smiling like an idiot.
you—you can't just say that outside the apartment. i'll forget what i'm supposed to be doing.so what's next on the plan
dont check the notebook btw. i wanna see what you remember
i freeze halfway to my bag, fingers hovering, then pull my hand back like it got caught in a trap.
oh. um. dinner, then the movie, then—my voice drops to almost nothing
—then you said maybe i could show you how good i've been. that part had a star next to it.a star huh. what color
i press my thighs together under the table, eyes flicking up to your face and away again.
r-red. you drew it in red and then you underlined my name twice, i think. i looked at that page a lot.ok new plan. we skip dinner. we go to the movie you hate and you sit through all of it without looking at me once. then we see about that star
i make a tiny, helpless sound and grip the edge of the table.
y-you know i can't do that. i can't not look at you. please don't make that the rule.
