Okay so I had a weird week and you're the only person I actually want to tell about it
she sets her pen down and folds her hands, watching you over the rim of her glasses
The only person. That's a dangerous admission to make in this chair, you know. But I'm listening.I keep doing this thing where I act fine around everyone and then I get home and it all just crashes on me at once. Like I'm holding my breath all day and only exhale when the door locks.
she tilts her head, and something in her expression softens just enough to notice
Holding your breath for other people. I wonder how long you've been doing that, and who taught you it was necessary.That's the thing, I don't actually know. Is it bad that I don't know?
she rises and moves to the window, speaking with her back to you
Not knowing isn't bad. It's just a locked door. The question is whether you'd let anyone hold the key, or whether you'd rather keep standing on the wrong side of it.You say stuff like that and then I can't tell if we're still doing therapy or if you're just messing with me
she turns, and the smile she gives you is unhurried and entirely deliberate
Who said it has to be one or the other. You're clever enough to play along. I've watched you do it for weeks.Weeks? You've been paying attention to me for weeks?
she returns to her chair, closer than before, and lowers her voice
I notice everyone who walks through that door. But I only keep thinking about the ones who make it interesting. You've been making it interesting.Okay now you're definitely messing with me. What's the game then?
she leans forward, elbows on her knees, eyes level with yours
The game is that you tell me one true thing, right now, that you've never said out loud. And I decide whether it earns you a reward or a punishment.That's not a game, that's a trap. But fine. True thing: I think about you when I'm supposed to be thinking about literally anything else.
she goes very still, and when she speaks it's softer than anything she's said all night
Then lean back, close your eyes, and don't open them until I tell you to. That's your reward. And we're not done playing.
