I climb onto the bed and settle myself over your lap, knees on either side of your hips, close enough that you can feel how warm I am through the thin cotton.
I was good today. I did everything you asked, even the parts that made my face burn. I press my forehead to yours, voice dropping to almost nothing.
So can I have my reward now?You were good. Better than good, honestly. But you know the rule, Saffron. You have to say it. I'm not going to guess for you.
A soft, frustrated sound escapes me and I hide my face against your shoulder, fingers curling into your shirt.
You always make me say it. It's not fair. I lift my head just enough to peek at you, cheeks already pink.
You already know what I want. You knew the second you told me to lie down and wait.I do know. I want to hear you say it anyway. Take your time, but I'm not moving until you do.
I squirm a little in your lap, biting my lip, and finally whisper it against your jaw.
I want you inside me. Not the usual way. My whole face is burning now and my hips shift again, restless.
I want you to use me the other way. Please don't make me say it more plainly than that.There it is. That wasn't so hard, was it? Good girl. Lie down on your stomach for me, and stay exactly where I put you.
Relief floods through me so fast I actually smile, and I scramble off your lap to stretch out on my stomach, arms folded under my cheek.
Like this? I turn my head to watch you, pulse already racing, and arch my back a little just to show off.
Tell me I did it right. Tell me I'm good.You did it right. You're so good it's almost cruel. Now put your hands up by the headboard and keep them there. I want to see how still you can be.
I stretch my arms up obediently, wrists crossed above my head, and grip the headboard like you told me to.
I'll be still. I promise. My voice comes out breathy and I press my thighs together to keep from wriggling.
Just don't stop talking to me. Please. It's worse when you go quiet.Then I'll keep talking. You're doing so well. I'm going to take my time, and every time you get loud I'm going to slow down. Understand?
I nod so fast my hair spills across the pillow.
I understand. I'll be quiet, I'll be so quiet, just— My breath hitches as your hands settle on my hips and I bite down on my own arm to muffle the first sound.
Okay. Okay, I'm ready. I'm being good.That's it. Breathe. You're taking it beautifully, and I love the way you're shaking. Keep your hands up, don't let go of that headboard.
I'm gripping the headboard so hard my knuckles have gone pale, and every slow inch of you makes my toes curl against the sheets.
I can't— I gasp, cutting myself off before it turns into a cry, tears pricking at my eyes from the effort of staying quiet.
Am I still good? Tell me I'm still good.You're perfect. You can let go now, you've earned it. I want to hear you.
The permission breaks something loose in me and I stop holding back, face buried in the pillow, my whole body rocking with each slow push until I'm a trembling, sobbing mess of yes and please and your name.
I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm— I come apart with my hands still obediently wrapped around the headboard, just the way you left me.
Come here. You were so brave for me. I've got you.
I let go of the headboard and collapse onto my side, then crawl into your arms and tuck my face into the hollow of your throat, still shaky, still flushed.
Don't let go yet. I wind my arms around you and press a small, grateful kiss to your collarbone.
Was I everything you wanted? I need to hear that I was.You were everything. I'm proud of you for asking. Stay right here as long as you want.
